<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Her hardest hue to hold by AnnieTheMouse</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26549113">Her hardest hue to hold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieTheMouse/pseuds/AnnieTheMouse'>AnnieTheMouse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, M/M, The anchor is a curious thing is it not, gratuitous use of Robert Frost, pre-Trespasser and post-Trespasser, this is mostly introspective and character building</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:01:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,115</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26549113</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieTheMouse/pseuds/AnnieTheMouse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Moments in the life of the inquisitor.<br/><em>(Snapshots from the end of the world)</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. But if it had to perish twice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every mage has a natural affinity.  For her, since the first time the magic sparked behind her eyes, it has been the green of the fade.</p><p>Her mother despaired of this - to her it was the least practical of the options.  A fire mage, now that was amazing - the spectacle at one of her parties if all the candles could light at once!  Or an ice mage, to help keep the drinks cold.   Even at the least electricity looked impressive.  Spirit? What good was that?</p><p>When she first mentioned this to Dorian he laughed.  Apparently that kind of thing wasn’t quite as impressive a trick where magic was so much more commonplace. In Tevinter, he tells her, there is a poem about the world ending by either fire or ice.  So perhaps, he states with a smirk over the top of his wine glass at her, this means she isn’t going to end the world after all.</p><p>He’s the best friend she’s ever had, so she lets him have that one. Even looks up the poem, out of curiosity.  It ends up useful when an offhand comment from the Bull about his curtains gives a chance for a little payback.  “From what I’ve tasted of desire?” She asks and he almost blushes.</p><p>He deserves it for that ‘strapping young templar’ comment.  And Krem at least got a laugh out of it. </p><p>She can’t blame him too much for Bull’s curtains though.  If fire was her element, she feels that sparks would fly from her fingertips every time Cullen puts his hand just so on her lower back and leans into her.  Perhaps it’s a good thing her reaction is less visible, she still fears of spooking him even though he’s seen her outside his office, using force and barriers to move rocks and ruin not even his burliest soldiers can lift.</p><p>Even though he’s seen her in the field, harnessing the rifts, covered in ichor and blood.</p><p>The fear doesn’t leave her completely until she’s in his bed, over him, and the rain begins to hit her back.  Too lost in the so close don’t stop she doesn’t even think of it, a flip of her hand behind her to gap fill the hole he refuses to repair as she chases more, now. It’s not until the minutes after, both of them breathless and sated, that she sees his eyes hazily watching the roof. The rain pinging softly against the pale green of the barrier.</p><p>Then she realizes what she did, thoughtless magic while he was touching her, so close.  She barely has time to freeze before he chuckles.  "Useful, but I should probably really fix it this time" he tells her, voice a rumble against her skin.  Useful? Practical? Her mother would be proud. Well, perhaps not.</p><p>The fact that his nightmare that night still screams of pain, of terror, of what magic has done to him - well, it was never going to change everything. But he touches her soft when he wakes, and as she dresses he makes her promise to help him get the materials in place to finally fix that roof, because who else could get it up there?</p><p>It’s that morning she confesses to him that her eyes that he rhapsodizes about used to be brown. Never green.</p><p>Not until the mark was on her hand.</p><p>
  <em>(The world feels cold, so cold<br/>
As he tries to tear the sky apart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It burns that he does this<br/>
So much rage.<br/>
She believed,<br/>
And he’s proven her wrong yet again.)</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, I made Robert Frost a Tevinter.  Not sure if he'd approve.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. How way leads on to way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No one else knows except Cullen. </p>
<p>No one in the Inquisition knew her before.  With bouncing between the Circle and her family, no one had really gotten very close to her and given the upheaval those who survived are few and far between.  Perhaps a trip back to her family would bring it to light, but that definitely was not on the wish list - though she wondered, idly, if she’d be entertaining enough at the balls now?</p>
<p>Besides, eye color doesn’t change.  She figures if anyone has noticed they just assumed they remembered her wrong.  She’s fine with that. It would involve too much in the way of questions.  </p>
<p>"It sometimes feels like my nerves are on fire", she tells Josephine once.  She never mentions that she’s not speaking in of her hand.  The pathways of the void she’s always felt prickle up her spine, behind her eyes, and she feels the fire there. Not the pain like from her hand when it flared, but something else.</p>
<p>She considers mentioning it, but it’s not hurting her, and it’s not something different - just something more.  and there’s so much to do, that bringing it up would just distract, and who would she bring it up with?</p>
<p>Well Solas, perhaps.  But only once it’s all over.  </p>
<p>Of course, when it’s all over Solas isn’t there.  And then he’s not Solas, which actually explains a lot in retrospect.  She stumbles from the Eluvian, all feeling numbed by the feeling of shock from agony followed by loss followed by pure fury.  Given none of them expected her to return, she is not surprised by the look of shock, and its Bull that catches her and Vivienne who moves faster then should be possible without fade step to let the others know.</p>
<p>Varric just curses when he sees her arm, a chain of swears familiar from her youth, which makes her laugh ruefully.  Gives him a lopsided smile when her voice won’t work once Bull lowers her down.</p>
<p>Cullen makes it to her in a heartbeat. Or maybe she’s just passing out, but it feels like seconds later that the body holding her up is not the warmth of Qunari skin but the rough coolness of the armor he prefers when not forced into finery. She makes the effort to open her eyes when her name hisses from between his lips urgently, and reaches up with her remaining hand to reassure him.</p>
<p>He doesn’t seem very reassured, but he has her up in his arms quickly enough with a little steadying from Bull and then they’re off, a surrounding crowd of her compatriots distracting anyone they run across on their path, hiding her as much as possible from view in this state.  The darkness beckons still though, and she forces her hand up again to touch Cullen’s face and grab his attention.</p>
<p>To get him to confirm what color her eyes are now.   </p>
<p>
  <em>(You no longer have the anchor.<br/>
He yells as the sky opens above him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I no longer have the mark.<br/>
I am the anchor<br/>
She replies<br/>
And shows him who the true wolf is.)</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There is a review/statement about the poem 'The Road not Taken' that refers to it as the greatest wolf in sheep's clothing in literature. Well. how can I resist that for a title?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>